Any way to change how orders are combined?

I've had a rash of orders lately where the person places one small order that shows shipping charges and doesn't pay for it. They place a second order - where shipping is incremental or non existent - and pay for that one. Then they get upset when I send a request to pay for the first and they tell me to cancel it but they still want the second. Ugh. Most are international buyers where shipping is over $10 and they expect me to eat the cost since their second order shows no postage.

Is there any way that the system could look at the previous order status and if paid, then allow the shipping to combine - but otherwise add full shipping costs?

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